Get up, Get up, and Get down('s)

Today we went in so Mo could get some lab work done. The tests we will do are for neural tube defects, Downs syndrome, and others.

So let's talk about Downs for a second.

Long ago, when Mo and I first started thinking about having kids (so, yes, for-f-ing-ever ago), we talked about it constantly. Everything we could think to discuss, we discussed. Among those many, many things was "what if we have a child with a serious disorder or disability." Our decision was to be fine with it and that we were better prepared for that situation than most couples. But, as an intellectual exercise we asked "If we HAD to have a child with some kind of serious disorder, what disorder would we choose, if we could choose?"

After some thought, we decided that Downs Syndrome would be the preferred. That's not to say we hope anything but the best for our child, or make light of Downs as a disorder. I take it very seriously and recognize the difficulties. But, at the same time....come on...

Kinda sells itself, right?

I know several families with children with Downs. I have a cousin with a son with Downs (pictured above). Most of the parents agree. Yes, Downs has challenges, but between Downs and...a billion other options...they choose Downs, and so do I.

But let's think about the history of Downs just a second and how this view (that welcomes a child with special needs) and, say the view just 30-50 years ago, compares.

In the early 1900s most children with Downs were institutionalized with little or (more likely) no treatment and died in infancy or early childhood. Prior to WWII, people with Downs were eugenically sterilized. In 1939, Nazi Germany enacted "Action T4", which was the public policy of murder of people with Downs (among others). Until the 50s, things were straight up bleak, and until the 70s it was unacceptable, and then moved into marginally acceptable with most of the good stuff happening in the 80s-90s. Even today, there are those who will abort a pregnancy if the child has Downs (or other disorders).

Okay, too dark? Here's a puppy.

That's better. 

So that is several generations robbed of the chance to raise a child with Downs. Yes, the real victims were the child with Downs, I get that, but they are not the only victims. Talk to a parent of a child with Downs, and ask them if they would (for anything) give up the chance to raise their child (Downs or no Downs) and see what they say. Offer them something in trade, then dodge as they kick at you.

I heard a story from a mentor. The child was born with Downs and the doctor said to the new mother, "For the good of your other children, take this infant to the institution and forget you ever had it."

I know, I needed a puppy after that too. 

Thankfully, the mother declined the doctors advice. But many did not. I won't get into what happened to the other or the children who didn't get to have siblings with Downs because I'd need more puppies (lots of puppies).

Some people get really stressed about the tests. I don't. If the test is positive, I'll have some things to prepare for, and I don't know how will feel. But, IF I feel sad (and that's a big if), it won't last long. Wanna know why...

This.