My little burden

This post has nothing to do with Jojo. It's just about me, so if you are hoping for a cute little story and a picture of the best part of my day, it's not in this one. Go back a few or wait till Sunday.

I am prone to bouts of depression. I've tried counseling and all that stuff. It helped, but it still happens. I've come to believe it's a more than a little biochemical or biological or something like that.

Damn it Jim, I'm a mixed sci-fi reference, not a doctor.

Yeah, I know, I could have used a Doctor Who reference, I didn't. I'll get right on that.

The point is, there are things I do that keep my depression from acting up. I tried some prozac variation once. It calmed my anxiety and prevented me from feeling depressed...and everything else. I think medical science is just wonderful and we have medicine that is straight up saving people's lives better than ever. It was just more than I needed.

What works best for me is working-out. I train in martial arts and it fixes me in way I have a hard time describing. I am by no means a skilled martial artist. I may very well be one of the worst students. I'm okay with that, because being any kind of martial artist makes me a better at everything else. I'm a better psychologist, a better husband, a better father, a better friend, a better person. The health benefits are nice too. When I work out, I get depressed less often and stay depressed for a shorter amount of time.

I haven't trained in almost two weeks.

There, happy?

Right now I am straight up grappling with depression and worry. It's not pleasant. Guilt, worry, fear, and depression are hitting me like waves. Worse, it's making my time with Jojo hard to enjoy. That sucks.

So what's the point of this blog?
"Feel bad for me, I'm sad, boohoo"? No. I need no pity. I'll be fine, this is temporary and more important I know I am stronger than my depression. It's just fighting me right now. I gave it a chance, it took it.

"I need to go to a martial arts class"? Well, yeah, obviously. But, that's not really the point.

The point is:

Everyone, every single damn person on this planet, since the beginning of time and until the end of our species, has and will have some personal burden to deal with. It may be some minor depression, or a learning disorder, or a physical handicap, or poverty, or whatever. But everyone has at least one.

You can give up and blame it for all your woes. You can use it as an excuse for your crappy attitude and bad behavior. Or, you can face it, figure it out, make a plan to overcome it, and then execute the plan.

Yeah, the plan might not work. That happens. It's called a setback. They do not excuse giving up and not making a new plan.

Not pictured: lots of setbacks.

Simply put, the point is: You will be burdened. You choose how to respond to it.

Overworked Son-day

This week I had 106 pages to read, a 5 page paper to write, a 20 chapter test to study for, and a 45 page group project to organize. Fortunately, Jojo is super helpful.

Even now he can...oybv960y9-b7 -9

...Reach the keyboard. Awesome. Helpful.

Yeah.

DST Son-day

I think I may be past the hump of "waytomuchgoingonkillmenow". I got the priority cases under control (for the moment). The independent study students are about done testing kids. My group project is moving forward. I'm still busy, but I'm past the 'over-busy' part. I think.

I have a sleep debt that is killing me. Last night I paid a bit of it off, but I don't expect to get out of the hole at least until after Christmas.

Yes, I know, I will count you at some point.

We had a TON of fun with Halloween this year. We took Jojo to haunt the zoo this year. It was SO BUSY! It was like the 3rd night of it and the line circled the entrance. There had to be like 1500-2000 people there. Some of the costumes were great. There was a Beetlejuice that was just flat-out impressive. Also, just before the entrance was Darth Vader next to a star trek officer. That was kinda awesome. There was also a lady who was just...well...her costume would be perfect at certain Halloween parties where kids are not welcome. Oy.

The booths were great. Sonic, Wal-Mart, and Dr. Pepper were impressive. I carried Jojo through most of it and the crowds were nuts, so not many pictures. We didn't collect candy this year because Jojo won't eat it and none of the rest of us need it.

"Guys, I'm 10 months old. You understand I don't care, right?"

We had fun, but next year are going to go a little later. That way the crowds will have a chance to disperse a little. We were planning on doing the Story Book Forest at Arcadia Lake, but we got tired and didn't.

Finally, we did get some photos done in his costumes. Sadly, the young lady who did the last two photos sets is no longer working at the studio we've been going to. The lady who did this set was fine, but just not as skilled. She also had a pretty intense energy that overwhelmed Jojo (and me). Rather than motivating Jojo's personality out, she just kinda filled the room with her own energy and Jojo wasn't nearly as expressive. I don't blame him. We needed the photographer to be at about a 4 to 6, she was rocking at an 11. Exhausting.

Still, I'm not disappointed. We got some good photos, not the quality I am spoiled to, but not bad at all. Here's a few of them.