What caught me off guard is how long it's taking for it to set in. There are these moments when it dawns on me (as if I wasn't aware) that this is really happening. Mo is actually pregnant.
We did some window shopping for things. I knew the financial numbers of what an infant cost. I knew it more or less off hand. I'm a dork. I research that stuff. But now it seems so much more real.
X diapers per day, X diapers in a pack = X packs per month. $X per pack times X per month = $X per month. (per child).
Suddenly, X is a real number not a theoretical number. In it's own way, that is exciting. I am glad these things are less theoretical.
But, as could be expected, it can be scary too. Obviously, money gets a bit scary with twins. I have a friend expecting twins right now (who is the sole bread-winner and has a nearly 2 year old already). I have no idea how he sleeps at night. I really don't.
But other things get into the mix...
Will I be able to continue working? Part-time maybe? Where? Doing what? Is the apartment big enough for twins? How long can it work before we need to move? If I work part-time, how much part-time?
Then the really scary shit moves in...
What if they are preemie and stay in the NICU? What if they are born sick?
I won't go on, between a nurse and a psychologist, Mo and I can get really scary, really fast.
We will talk about it. We will pray about it. We will look at the numbers. We will figure out a plan. We will pray about it. We will execute the plan. We will adjust the plan as needed.
We won't know if it is twins in there till May 2nd so much of the worry is pointless anyway. Even then, all bets are off till they are born.
So in the end, we will do what we have to do, and that's really all anyone ever does.
That's my anal-retentive son! Just remember God only gives children to amateurs and no one is ever fully prepared for children. So, watch "Parenthood" again, relax, and enjoy the roller coaster ride.
ReplyDeleteMartial arts got me out of the rumination pretty good. My instructor has a T-shirt that says simply:
ReplyDeleteKARATE
CURES
EVERYTHING
It will be unfortunate if I cannot maintain martial arts training, but if it comes down to $100 a month I know what the decision will be.
I've never enjoyed Parenthood (and rarely enjoy Steve Martin in general). I think he had an appeal to the baby-boomer generation, and that movie was a bit of perfect storm of the things most prevalent to that BB generation. It lacks a timelessness that speaks to me.
As far as accepting the unpredictability of children. I will be an amateur parent, that's fair. But at the same time I recognize my inherent ignorance, I also must keep in mind years of training and experience in specialized child development and Mo's skills in life-saving medical knowledge. I can imagine someone being more prepared, but we're about as ready as one can hope to be.
Either way, if Mo and I need moments to recoop, that is what grandparents are for.
Something to think about while you have 8 more months till the kiddos get here. If you are thinking about one of you quitting, start saving the money from that person's income. It will give you a sample of what budgeting would be like without the income while also increasing your rainy day fund. Kids really aren't as expensive as you would think.
ReplyDeleteThat's not a terrible idea.
ReplyDeleteMo and I are waiting till we have the ultrasound before we go into it too much. For the moment we are just enjoying the steady realization that this is actually happening.
Once we have the ultrasound we will have a better idea of what we will be preparing for and be able to lay out the budget and make some decisions.
Attempting to follow that budget between now and then is a grand idea. We already put a considerable amount of money into savings and our emergency fund is nothing to laugh at, but additional in the fund never hurts.
Two words: diaper. shower. I truly don't think we'll buy a single one with this baby, at least through this summer.
ReplyDeleteI think I am going to dedicate an entire post to my thoughts on baby/diaper shower for Mo.
ReplyDeleteBut, in regard to diapers, Mo works for Integris. The pharmacy has a program where you can by them at approximately 1/3 to 1/4 the normal price. You are limited in the number you can buy per month (I think the limit is a case or something). That will help.